An occasional smoker

I smoke occasionally. My primary influence were my smoking friends and I started during my early college days.

I always wondered if I would get addicted if I started, but somehow I can control my urges to smoke. My family initially doesn't know that I smoke, and I try my best to hide it by not smoking during the weekends when I'm back home from campus. I try to avoid smoking all together whenever I'm at home, but when I do need a puff I usually do it in the balcony or a room my family doesn't use often. I smoke more in college, technically people say that girls don't like guys who smoke. My friends still treat me the same way + I honestly don't care what strangers think

I was taught from young that smoking kills and have seen a dozen anti-smoking advertisements. Years ago when I was younger, I swore against smoking. As I grow older it now seems like a lifestyle and a form of relaxation.

I don't smoke on an everyday basis, but usually when I'm feeling uptight and stressed. During college semesters I smoke more compared with the holidays. Because of that I usually gain an extra 5kg during holidays (apparently smokers gain weight when they stop smoking)

How did people look at me?

One thing I did notice when I was smoking was that people started taking notice of me more. Usually with a scowl on their faces of disapprove. But they do take smokers more seriously then non-smokers. Somewhat a more mature outtake. The most important thing I noticed was that I was able to connect to other smokers around me. I'm able to understand their smoking habits and their attitude towards it. People who don't smoke usually feel alienated to people who do. Technically smoking sort of became an unwritten group anyone can join.

One of the few things I enjoy about smoking, is being able to do it with your friend. I have a friend from India who's my course senior and I offer him a smoke/ vice versa and we would sit somewhere...smoke and chat about all sorts of things. Maybe the smoke bring both our heads to the same level of calmness where we can just simply discuss about issues together. The same thing probably goes for weed